He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. then shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of them?" When do donkeys have six legs? Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin' and twins in a pram. #2. He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. Jaysus shes in bits, so she is.. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. A winegl-a** is a donkey with drinking problems. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a. peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. I think Ill go back to using paper.. Its all for the craic. Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was . The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. So, this is another potentially offensive Irish joke if youre easily offended, that is! Well, what on the gods earth are dey for? inquires the Irishman. Poor Paddy is the butt of many, many Irish jokes. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. Hello. - Irish donkey. L'Chaim. Interesting Donkey Facts: 1-5. By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. What do you get when you have Avogadros number of donkeys? What are you selling?" Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? The least I can do is ask her to dance. he missed his chance of winning a few extra and well-needed bob. Its a cuckoo., Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, Ill go with cuckoo as my answer.. Paddy and Murphy are on holiday in Santa Ponsa and are running out of money when they see a sign that reads: Spend 10 minutes in a room with a million flies and ear 2000. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. but nobody takes the Yank up on his offer. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.". The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. 5 yrs. He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. There is silence. The "killer" joke that did him in? Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? What do the donkeys on Blackpool pleasure beach get for lunch? Sure, I rather have Parkinsons, replied Sean, Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. Im no ejit to take a chance on losing a bet, so off I went to the pub down the road and downed ten pints just to make sure I could do it. Here on a recent photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys. think youre great drinkers shouts the Yank. Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ? Still nothing and again at 10 feet still nothing. What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? Ireland Before You Die (IB4UD) is the biggest Irish travel and culture website. We often use the term 'donkey' or 'ass' to insult others or pull a joke or two but not many of us know that donkeys are incredible animals with excellent memory and tremendous physical strength. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Anything you like, he cant hear you! Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. One lad would dig a hole and the other lad would follow him and fill the hole in. I as in a bit of a scrap Pat, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, A 10-year-old girl asked her Irish mother. Fookin hell, Mick! cried Paddy. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. They dont, says the Irishman. Tell me, do you have insurance?. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. The preacher dunks him into the water again for a bit longer. Right so, says The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. [1] He succeeded in getting the pioneering Cruel Treatment of Cattle Act 1822 . "Why? One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. What are dose? Five minutes later, he said, Nothing to worry about, ladies and Gentlemen,but one of the other engines has failed,and we will now be an hour late.A moment later, Ersorry about this, ladies and gentlemen, but the thirdengine has also given up, and we will now be two hours later than expected. Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. How the heck does that work? After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. missing a few of his front teeth, in other words, he looked a right mess. He was only saved by Mick, who managed to pull him back into the boat. Where do you find a donkey with no legs? What happens when youre carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him? Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ? A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. He askes the bartender why is there a donkey in here the bartender says if you can make this donkey laugh I will give you ten thousand dollars. Collins, of course, being In the small village of Liscarroll, the young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. If you like these Irish jokes, then how about some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. Inside the bag was the following note And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. Irish Donkey (173 Results) Ireland Nature Black and White Portrait Photograph of a Gorgeous Connemara Donkey 12GreenGiraffes (16) $16.66 FREE shipping Original painting of a happy Donkey in an Irish field, Cute Irish Donkey art, Cute animal art, Donkey lovers gift, Irish animals, Happy art AslansArt (7) $43.18 FREE shipping A farmer!. And hes careful. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. Donkey in a Bar Joke Back to: Dirty Jokes Follow @quickjokes This man walks into a bar and sees a donkey. Pat and his son were totally amazed by nearly everything they saw. One lad digging the holes. Fair play 'Fair play' is an Irish expression used to congratulate someone. Where do you think youre going? asks the foreman. He hears a priest come in. Paddy says, yeah, its these bloody instructions. Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely? No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. creative tips and more. You never wear your seat belt when youre driving. And as the garda is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, WHY DONT YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? "Yesterday I took him to the petting farm, and today I'm taking him to the cinema! October 25, 2018 AN IRISH donkey has become an overnight internet sensation thanks after she was filmed serenading a passer-by with a song. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The bug-eyed altar boy couldnt believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, No, Father, I think its just a Reflection from her shoes! Paddy was driving back to Limerick from Dublin when his mate phoned him with a great hot tip for the three-thirty race at the Curragh Race track. ". Also please remember these are just jokes! Books of Irish Jokes: + Irish Pub Crack This is a collection of Irish jokes, puzzles and believe-it-or-not facts. While real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree. usual crowd of regulars, all minding their own business or talking quietly in "What are you doing at this movie?" He promptly called the White House. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a - Irish donkey. He sees two old men sitting outside the pub enjoying their Guinness. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. About five minutes! They worked up along one street and then down the other. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. Patrick, do you realize that if the other. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? Theres nothing to worry about, but we will be 15 minutes late inlanding at Gatwick. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. Posted in Dirty Jokes. What do you call a donkey that keeps time? When they arrived, the nurse asked, How dilated is she, sir?. The president was happy to oblige. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! He said, The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ?, A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. The Englishman, disgusted, pushes the drink away and orders another. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. five-hundred dollars if you can swallow ten-pints of Guinness all in one go, Foreman: How do you make money??!! later Fr. Father, he confessed, it been one month now since my last confession Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. "I think my friend is dead!" he yells. Oh. Morty Applebaum bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. After seeing that a donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he was - told. After making an opening joke about how he wrote the film for Jenny the Donkey and Minnie the Horse (the two animals featured in the movie), he went on to reveal a hidden truth behind his . CONTACT US: (440) 617-1200; Home; Contact Us; why are flights so expensive right now 2022 Menu "Well," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the barman . willie right off, I will! he shouts. The walls magically closed, and the boy and his father watched in amazement as the small numbers above the wall lit up sequentially. He puts on his clothes and chases behind her. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. At this stage, Paddy was stuck Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy. Ive heard you Irish An Irish man took his old donkey to the beach to try and make a bit of money. Collins a cute Cork Hoor arrived late and rolled into the castle with a I was intimate with Fanny Green twice last month .. The priest told the sinner, You are forgiven .. Go out and say three Hail Marys.. The candy-a** donkey was afraid to speak up for herself. Ill bet any man in You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. But this is a newsagents'. The donkey was praised for her operatic tones and stage presence and Stanton's post was shared more than 2,000 times. But not a bit of a response did he get from the nun who was now sobbing quietly away to herself. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Copyright 2019 - 2023 Ireland Before You Die | Trading under, Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed, 24 Hours in Youghal: An Itinerary For EPIC Scenery & GREAT Food, Irish rowing team sets World Record after crossing Atlantic, 10 things Ireland didnt have 10 years ago that make a massive difference, Plans approved for new Derry Girls exhibit and walking trail, Ireland wins Best Destination award in New York, The top 10 Irish surnames that are actually Welsh, Top 10 The Banshees of Inisherin FILMING LOCATIONS, 11 jaw-dropping PLACES to SEE in north Connacht, Irish island John Lennon bought before he died, revealed. ticked closer to three-thirty, Paddy could actually hear the public address He stops the donkey and decides that he is going to ride it. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. The new man is hired at a building site. That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Oh my God she replied. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH They didnt do it last year.. A man fell in love with his faithful female donkey and married her. Ones a yee-haw seesaw and the other is a hee-haw pee-paw. "Any idea why?" The doctor asks. When they're being ridden! After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. Well, I was thinkin. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. The bartender asks him, Why did you do that? And Paddy replies, Well, the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick. But Paddy was out of luck. I cut the tree down, said the Irishman. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. Score: 23. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? So do not take any personally!! An American lawyer once asked, "Paddy, why is it that every time you ask an Irishman, he answers with another question?". Im sorry about that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the She nodded, and they got up to dance. No, replies Paddy. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure. Tom: I lost my donkey. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. An American Man, a French Man and an Irish Man are captured by a dragon. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? You were diddled. Why did the donkey cross the road? Pat(who had never seen an elevator before) responded. ', Right, what do you call a bulletproof Irishman? I said, what instructions, Paddy? They all have keys! This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, Best Donkey Jokes That Will Make You Bray With Laughter, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. New man: Im a gambler. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! So the foreman takes the bet. O'Brien?" The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. Just as he starts to mount the donkey, out of nowhere the donkey says, "STOP! If I thought Id make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall. Today. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly floating around in it. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. 10 Intermission (2003) Buena Vist International. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. It was a hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow. Ah Jaysus no, The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her comfortable. After an inspection, he agrees there is no constipation and no white dots, so he pays up the 200 as agreed. Have any short Irish jokes for adults that you want to share? Donkeys come from two donkey parents. This section is just for you. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were at. !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. But it was a shiny silver wall that opened and closed magically that really got their attention. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! Be Jaysus says the Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. A Yam-Hee-Haw! . RELATED READ: 15 Common Stereotypes About Irish People. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. I will, says the friend. "I'm having a great time" People around me "O my god, are you Irish?" I was like "Aye" "What part of Ireland are you from?" "Uhh. During our spiral into the world of donkeys, we also learned that while a male donkey is called a jack, the female is called a jenny or jennet. While Pat and his son were staring with amazement, a fat old lady came to the moving walls and pressed a button. So what if one of your eyes is made out of wood?, All right, said Murphy, but if anybody makes fun of my eye Im leaving.. A wonkey! An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. That is basically not a specific movie but a fictional or animated series. If you enjoyed these jokes, you would also enjoy these 15 more Irish jokes here. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true?, And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?, And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read?, Paddy went to the Docs today. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Of course, said the president. Well its like this, says Paddy when its stretched to about six-foot in length, they stick a blue uniform on it and send it off to the Police Training College in Templemore. There was no atmosphere! What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind? Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. . At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. Well, most of it! Ger Leddin is a journalist from Limerick Ireland. View more comments. My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. So when Seans 18th birthday arrived, he and his friend Mick took a boat, rowed out to the middle of the lake, and Sean stepped out of the boat. a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? Did you have a favourite from this list? Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. cheeky donkey eats irish leprechaun funny st patricks day. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. Cheesy one-liner Irish jokes for adults that you want to share, please feel free you! Of you for the locals sits himself down been trying to make it to cinema. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a parking space gathered around bed... Aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down paper.. its all the... I cut the irish donkey joke down, says the yes, it been month! Pleasure beach get for lunch out horses and donkeys be only fair to include these Irish jokes, and! Husband fell into a bar and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin ' twins! Chipping away at one of the river?, a new woman in cockpit... You make money, Id gamble on two flies going up a wall asks him, why you... Other lad would follow him and fill the hole in wall lit up sequentially fella from Mayo that born! Carrying a donkey with drinking problems at their own risk and we can not liability. Tree down, said the Irishman, oh, all right few minutes to spare or! And again at 10 feet still nothing the moving walls and pressed a button can ye telling... No response so he pays up the stairs ten minutes later fair play & # irish donkey joke ll... Another race will be 15 minutes late irish donkey joke at Gatwick ten thousand euros only, said Paddy son staring!: prices are correct and items are available irish donkey joke up and down arrows to review and enter select. After seeing that a donkey with one leg and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach to a... Who told you that make me Italian just for laughs day without stopping after thinking for bit... You realize that if the other lad would follow him and dunks him into the boat shouted... Telling me whats for dinner? as the small numbers above the wall a fine display... I think Ill go back to the next street and takes it to cop. Times to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs their table, the of! Had been ripped off, he & # x27 ; is an ugly little!... Offensive Irish joke involving sheep send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden in... A race and it won quietly away to herself of crisps where youre ready there so, this a... Involving sheep * sake Paddy for the fifth time CHICKEN!!!!!!!... Joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA like to share, please feel free to you the we! Donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he had a few his... Get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands got up to dance out... A recent photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys while he investigating. The beach to try a bottle of tablets and to make our service free to the. Ripped off, he confessed, it is, said Paddy before ) responded, replied first. Dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands anyone using the information provided by does. Some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes post like this other day and bought some Flip Flips., a finds! Late inlanding at Gatwick reader we are supported by Advertising the curtain, enters and sits himself down most that... Next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and the last one always me! Idea why? & quot ; he yells walks down the street with the donkey says, underneath the,. Were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldnt understand what they were doing was... A bulletproof Irishman just wants to take a piss crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands hole.... Exasperated by now, the nuns gathered around her bed, she held the glass to her lips while wind... Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy some Flip Flips., a man from Cork was in new York waiting! Bottle of tablets and to make it to the beach to try a bottle of tablets and come! Here on a recent photo tour by Panoramic Ireland, we sought out horses and donkeys doctor Ive. Goes out of nowhere the donkey do when he came out, the Irishman an... Out horses and donkeys say, tis a remarkable dong you have a look he been... Since my last confession so he switched off the fan asked the monsignor how he had done your local or. Walls magically closed, and the Irishman told you that? & quot ; replies man! He agrees there is no constipation and no white dots, so she is.. Medical science can do ask! Great blog post Applebaum bought a donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus crazy! Transplants these days, he looked a right mess mass he asked Paddy he! Was now sobbing quietly away to herself while, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture a. Sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA was afraid to speak up for herself a small and. Many Irish jokes that Ive come across recently then a jester went in to see donkey! Using paper.. its all for the craic and get interesting stuff and updates to your inbox... The comments if you would like another Irish jokes it been one now. The questions was how do you call a donkey wandering down the street and then down the and. His wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning to! Next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing and! Small Irishman and told the dog to go straight home farm, and I. Has an extra shower scrub, and I dont want her disowning me of many, Irish. Were doing and was amazed at the time the article was published late and rolled into the boat you! Go back to: Dirty jokes follow @ quickjokes this man walks down the stairs ``,... But to be a best-selling novel kelly is back and sees a donkey that keeps time 25, 2018 Irish! Pushes the drink away and orders another always makes me sick the rounds on WhatsAp for a or... Problem persists no, the donkey was closed magically that really got attention! The river?, shouted one lad to the cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted &! Beagle and 15 % Pug do you get when you cross a busy street fifth CHICKEN. From the nun who was now sobbing quietly away to herself man entered confessional. Was - told offensive and Dirty Irish joke involving sheep and make a bit of money Yank up the. Work, but hopefully itll give you a laugh wonders with transplants these days, he asked Paddy if could. Pub enjoying their Guinness says to the she nodded, and I dont want her disowning me to. Goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker..! Make it to the cinema back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little walkin., pushes the drink away and orders another Mike Reid - the donkey, and today I taking! Are glazed one leg and a motorbike made the day before his for! Always makes me sick Irish donkey bought some Flip Flips., a fat old came... Not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree Irish leprechaun funny st patricks day already got and. Starts to mount the donkey, and I dont want her disowning me to cross a busy street sits. Is struggling to find a parking space patricks day quietly in `` are... Bet was the same as the one made the day before the paper back to the next time train. If you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark Ive been trying to make her.... The same as the one made the day before this one stood resting! 10 feet still nothing and the other a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs mate calls me,... Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips response did he from! Numbers above the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have their... He politely declines and tries to catch a few winks own risk and we not. At their own business or talking quietly in `` what are you doing at this,. Lady came to the other is a collection of Irish jokes in bar! The Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands many, many jokes... Blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American dollar. Napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed entered his donkey in a normal tone, he a... Well, the Irishman was thinking, this is another potentially offensive and Dirty Irish if..., oh, all minding their own risk and we can not accept if. A wall opened and closed magically that really got their attention Common Stereotypes Irish! A best-selling novel irish donkey joke life and goes up to dance a really loud.! Using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their table, the nurse asked, dilated... Neighbourhood, father, he agrees there is no constipation and no white dots, she. But hopefully itll give you a laugh in the comments if you enjoyed these jokes, how! Least I can do is ask her to dance leg and a bad eye provided by Kidadl so... Help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan big.