Dirty Joke 334 This guy goes to the zoo one day. I'd tell you a joke about space, but. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Gum. Do you know what that means?The boyfriend says, Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.How can you tell if your husband is dead?The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.Why cant you hear rabbits making love?Because they have cotton balls.A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night. Looking for more dad jokes? Check out this article filled with hilarious NASA jokes and puns! Lie to me! Astronaut jokes for anyone interested in space, science fiction, NASA, space programs, the International Space Station and the history of astronauts. They planet. It was a herd shot round the world. Considering the current situation around the globe, lighting up anyones face with a smile through clean jokes or inappropriate jokes can be a great blessing. Nah! Christ she said "you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! (plan-it) If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. Pulubi: Bilis ah, kadudumi ko lang nasa balita agad. Funny Quotes and Sayings Weve got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. #1. The Funny Side Of Space, Astronauts & Space Exploration! If you're looking for clean astronaut jokes , puns, riddles and astronaut knock-knock jokes, then this is the collection for you. Just heard NASA is looking for people from diverse backgrounds. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean nasa challenger dad jokes. } Whilst you probably have to be a person who has a slightly dirty sense of humor to get these jokes, some of these jokes are actually really clever! 81. in Dirty Jokes. 16. Dirty minded jokes are never meant to be decent; instead, they are always inappropriate yet funny. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars. Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. My violin tutor told me my fingering was good but my positions could be better. Funny Dirty Jokes Koldunova Anna/Shutterstock What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Share these funny dirty jokes that are so raunchy people need to wash their ears when they hear them! Workplace. Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. And, although it is not very advisable to say them in public, nothing can prevent us from reading them and having fun in ourselves. Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason. How is a woman like a road? It only takes one nail to hang the painting. The wedding ring. I personally am on the fence. Holdaper: Re-reypin ko lahat ng babae dito! Thats so aggressive! So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag. Because they already spend all day looking into super massive black holes. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Share: It cost NASA scientist 1 billion dollars to send felines into outerspace. "Because," the doctor says. Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. Mars: Come over If you want to move on from dirty jokes but want to keep the laughs coming, we have more jokes and puns for you! Continue with Recommended Cookies, Funny Jokes Today Jokes 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes). They have been studying wormholes for thousands if not millions of years before human do. Roosters don't lay eggs. 5. I said, Well, Im pretty good, but I dont think Im ready to compete just yet.What do you do when a womans choking?Back up a few inches.What does a robot do after a one-night stand.Nuts and bolts.Ive never laughed a woman in to bed, but Ive laughed one out of bed many times.I am mostly six inches long. What did the leper say to the sex worker? Movie Characters NASA: I'm coming over. What nonsense! Me And My Crew Are Going To The Sun!" "How Are You Gonna Do That?" Said The Other Two. "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream. She says: What is the difference between a joke and two dicks? The doctor walks in and says, I have some bad news. "So far, we don't have an answer." The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? I caught my wife in bed with my best friend. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. Music "Curiosity killed the cat", For one all the people there were very rude. Joke has 85.70 % from 2107 votes. Required fields are marked *. I get wet before you do. #2. Read: More husband and wife jokes about marriage, Someone asked the other day how you spell scrotum, I replied you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue. Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family. "If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts. They just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out.". What is this new 72 position I heard about? How do you know that you have a high sperm count? A Lickalotopus. 'You would have been if your father had done what he was told' replies his mother. That way they can finally see what a black hole actually looks like. He is into geeky male joke topics. Jupiter's moons were named after the Roman god's mistresses and this week NASA sent a spacecraft named after his wife, Juno, to observe the planet. Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything. Dirty knock knock jokes are perfect if youre looking for something fun to make your partner blush or to make your friends cringe! Enjoy!About us. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's. 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. Check out these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A popular internet meme fomenting . Basahin at ibahagi sa iyong mga kaibigan ngayon! After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" If youre feeling brave and want to tell jokes that will get peoples attention, telling funny dirty jokes is the best way to go. More jokes about: age, dirty, health, love, marriage. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry, dear. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes! Begun in 1958, largely in order to gain a moral victory in the Cold War by beating the USSR to the moon, their main purpose is to gain knowledge about outer space and neighboring celestial objects in order to increase humanity's knowledge of the cosmos. Dirty dad jokes are not like the jokes you heard from your dad when you were a kid. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. The farmer is impressed. This list of not for the faint of heart; these jokes hurt, are dirt, are offensive and partially inappropriate. Because his wife died. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. Man: Its the worst thing ever. Donald Trump has a small one. I am more comfortable when wet and very unpleasant when dry. What do you call a cheap circumcision? Amos who?A mosquito bit me!Knock, knock.Whos there? xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote. Europe Here are even more adult jokes that are easy to remember. Table of Contents #101 - 90. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. "Together, we can stop this crap. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. "What are these guys in the . Score: 93 Share: Why Does NASA Have No Competition? Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. After observing them from afar for many days, the . When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. A cow joke Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. A guy is sitting at the doctors office. According to Gershon Legman its origin dates back to the vaudeville and burlesque days of show business, and the joke has long been recognized as the benchmark of grossness and sexual excess in the extreme. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. 14. Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." Not everyone can pull off wearing a spacesuit, but I'm going to rocket. A man is sitting at the bar, his head in his hands. When NASA was preparing, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); See you in the Email! They phoned Elon Musk and explained that they thought SpaceX wouldn't be charging to send astronauts into space. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? My girlfriend lives 40 miles away. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. You are bound to get plenty of laughs. - "Is there a mirror in your pants? It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. My grief counselor died the other day. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Catch a glimpse of these filthiest dirty minded jokes with answers and make sure to share these dirty riddles for a naughty mind with your friends at the upcoming slumber party and enjoy the night. He replied, Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.What do a good woman and a good bar have in common?Liquor in the front and poker in the back.How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?Because his right hand caught on fire.Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?A washing machine doesnt follow me home after I dump a load in it.What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales?They grabbed him by the jewels.How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach?Its not hard.The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? Healthy Environment What is the difference between oral and anal sex? How is playing bridge similar to sex? Dirty jokes and awful pick up lines go hand in hand. 26 Naughty Jokes For People With Dirty Minds. "Is it in?". I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. "How's work going?" So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag. While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. Dirty Jokes #39 - 30. I sometimes ask you to spit and not swallow it. They sang songs all day, drank, and made merry. I want you inside me. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts.Whats the best thing about gardening?Getting down and dirty with your hoesWhats the difference between me/you and a mosquito?A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it.Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator?The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it.I took a Viagra the other day. Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Im sorry, but if Christmas is coming so am I.What do you call a video of two toads having sex?Frogspawn.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between br*asts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?A SeatbealtWhen at the supermarket, I always pick the cashier whos most likely to have sex with me. 85 Beach Puns and Jokes (Dont Worry Beach Happy), 50 HILARIOUS Jokes For Kids To Share With Friends, 47 Offensive Jokes you may not want to tell, Top 20 Most Offensive Jokes by Jimmy Carr. You tie me down to get me up. I'd love to traverse the solar system, but I wouldn't even know where to begin" British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Here are some conversation starter tips that will help you break the ice in any situation. Life can get pretty dull if you always play it straight. Dirty Jokes #69 - 60. Fall Flip. But you probably cant tell in these trousers.Im spread out before being eaten. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round, and firm. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes For Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Give it to me! she yelled. A wet nose. Can you tell us about Peter Pans favorite place to eat out? The great thing about a dirty knock-knock joke is that it's almost always unexpected. They say necessity is the mother of invention !! This comes after an accident in which Curiosity killed the cat. The best man always has me first. Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's coming next! 15. There's just something inherently innocent and family-friendly about the setup for a knock-knock joke, so when it takes a left turn and the punchline is jaw-droppingly filthyso much that you look around the room to make sure there are no children presentit gives you a new appreciation for this classic . One liner tags: dirty, puns. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat.". Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. My kid is obsessed with the moon. They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere. My boyfriend wanted me to give up my career in NASA to marry him, but I couldn't. I need my space. Burn a body at a crematorium, youre being a respectful friend. Do it at home and youre destroying evidence.. Making love is like a burrito, don't unwrap or that baby's in your lap. yo mama so fat that she gave draclua diabeties. Dewey who?Dewey have a condom handy?Knock, knock.Whos there?Baghdad.Baghdad who?Id love to see you Baghdad butt up.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ivan. 22. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. And one blonde says to the other, which do you think is farther away. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Im 42 years of age, I literally have to hit it with nettles. They are all rushed to the hospital and the doctor says, "I can't operate on him, he's my son.". var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Question: What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy? If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? 81.33 % / 2055 votes. Dirty jokes, to be precise, are as common in Ireland as sheep on a country road, so we just had to create a list of the best to give you a good laugh, 10. "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. The other's a. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side. ", What did one butt cheek say to the other? The dentist said, I think you have the wrong room. You put in my husbands teeth last week, she replied. I'd go at night!". When NASA was preparing, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation. ", What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Dirty Joke 264 . "Wow," the boy replies. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?I want you inside me.I bet you cant tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time, a husband says to his wife. Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. A guy will actually search for a golf ball!What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato?A dictator!What did the leper say to the sex worker?Keep the tip.Whats long and hard and full of semen?A submarine!How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?Call and tell her about it.Why did the squirrel swim on its back?To keep its nuts dry.What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?The Head nurseWhat is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year.I am made of either latex or rubber. Are you my new boss? What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? An astronaut lands on an alien world. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? 2022 Galvanized Media. What am I?Nose.Ive currently got a stalker. 64 if you relax." The correct number, Hofstadter explained, is actually 63.5. In the end, I make you happy and confident. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: "Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!". Im especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. Here's a list of 116 dirty (and funny!) An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Because you just gave me a raise. Ben who?Ben down and lick my boots!Knock, knock.Whos there?Anita.Anita who?Anita you inside me.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dewey! Whats the difference between a book and a teacher? xhr.send(payload); she yelled. You wear me for protection every time you feel not so comfortable with what you are dipping yourself into. Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. its too, out of this world! A dictator. Lets go on a road trip and eat lots of hotdogs by a campfire! What do you do when your cat's dead? Get a look. "Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough." Signed, Pluto. 82. 4. "Beat it. Why is diarrhea hereditary? The taste. His wife, he said, once bought him a t-shirt emblazoned with the claim that "63 Earths can fit inside Uranus. Eric finished his degree in primary education. Santa goes through the chimney for what reason? . Let's get some real nasty and funny time with Mom WATCH NEXT:- Best Tiktok memes compilation February 2021: https://you. That is why we had to share our favorite absurd dirty lines that you do not want to use anytime soon. Have you heard about the new Nasa program? Why did the squirrel swim on its back? Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G. A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished.