SHREK: No, this is one of those "drop it and leave it alone" things! What do I have to do get a little privacy? DONKEY: Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask, okay? MONSIEUR HOOD: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad! Oh, this? Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever afterTHE END". I didn't invite them. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. A bright fire shines on the screen and Farquaad covers his eyes. Shrek walks off. FARQUAAD: Congratulations, ogre. He looks lovingly at the swamp he calls home, and goes about his daily routine. He opens the front door and throws the Wolf out. FIONA: I have to. That's right, fool! Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. my bad, he screamed the new testament of the bible. Keep your legs elevated! Donkeys don't have sleeves. Dead broad off the table! In 2001, the landscape of animated films changed forever when Shrek premiered. DONKEY: Wow. It's a compliment. One of the guards looms over him and he begins to scurry away, muttering to himself. The mention of this Lord Farquaad prompts Fiona to turn around in surprise. Shrek enters the outhouse and slams the door behind him. The Big Bad Wolf is laying in the bed. Listen to Jesus' crucifixion for example, it's odly interesting. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid MERRYMEN: What he's basically saying is he likes to get MONSIEUR HOOD: Paid! That is a nice boulder. It's not like it has feelings. SHREK: Look. WOODEN PEOPLE: Welcome to Duloc such a perfect town / Here we have some rules let us lay them down / Don't make waves, stay in line and we'll get along fine / Duloc is perfect place / Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your face / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is perfect place. Her sad look turns to bitterness. FIONA: Well --yes, actually! He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and starts floating upwards. As the bishop talks we see Donkey through one of the windows as Shrek tosses him up so he can see. DONKEY: Oh, good. FIONA: But this isn't right! You're a mean, green, fightin' machine. DONKEY: Cool. Then you showed up and bam! A group of birds drapes a cloak made of flowers around Shrek's shoulders, much to his annoyance. (sigh) When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. The Three Good Fairies hide inside a tent. All of you, move it! FARQUAAD: An ogre and a princess! Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? DONKEY: (trailing after Shrek) Oh, you both have layers. Shrek (Script) Lyrics SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. I was just kidding. Now it's my turn! The villager mutters to himself. Thelonius stands nearby, golding a pillow on which rests the two wedding rings. Man those guards! Me, me! Fiona backs up and gives Shrek a sheepish smile. SHREK: (Sighs) Alright. Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Its all very ominous. Well, this is delicious. She closes the door. DONKEY: And you know what else? We must be getting close. DONKEY: All right, that's what I like to hear, man. The Three Bears (minus Mama Bear) sit around the fire, the Pied Piper is playing his pipe and the rats are all running to him, some elves are directing flight traffic so that the fairies and witches can landetc. Nobody else! FIONA: But there's.robbers in the woods. Hapaya! FARQUAAD: Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me--for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. (breaks the broom in half). As he walks off biting it, she licks her fingers. Show me the princess. DONKEY: What did you do with the princess?! SHREK: We? Awful stuff. They respond positively to him and begin to do "the wave". Behind a broken wall, a giant eye opens to see an unaware Donkey. Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Shrek and Fiona try to grab each other's arms but are pulled away from each other. This one's full. Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. Farquaad gets down on one knee and takes Fiona's hand, pulling her down sharply. (to Donkey) You! (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? DONKEY: Do you have a tissue or something? DONKEY: Yeah, I know. Or something! Fiona sits down determinedly on a nearby rock. There's no time. FIONA: Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! I ain't playing no games. The book opens and a voice begins reading its text: SHREK: Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! You're great pals, aren't ya? He hears a huge ripping sound and looks over at Fiona, who has torn the bark off of a tree with her bare hands. He continues walking through the parking lot. Shrek puts his entire hand over Fiona's face, stopping her in her tracks. I'm king! It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. Shrek Script {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. Shrek gestures towards the group and Fiona stands with her mouth wide. -Twenty pieces. I've mastered the stairs. There's just me and my swamp. I'm fine. Those waiting in line include Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Geppetto who is carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs. (he holds out his onion). Shrek terrifies the mob with a great frightening roar, his spit extinguishing all the remaining torches. You cut me real deep just now. I'm a real boy. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?". This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Shrek fiddles with the door handle, unable to open it. Farquaad stops his horse in front of Fiona. DONKEY: Yeah, right, brimstone. You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. SHREK: Okay, you two, head for the exit! Shouldn't we stop to make camp? Here's what we know. I will have--. Now, tell me! SHREK: Wait a second. FIONA: Oh, now you wanna talk? A ray of light shines down on a leather-bound storybook. (continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge). Blue flower, red thorns. Please! FIONA: A ballad? I will have perfection! I'm too young for you to die! Farquaad snaps his fingers and is lifted onto his horse by his guard. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Several of the characters from the movie made their way into the musical, but that doesn't mean they all stayed the same. That's bad! SHREK: Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. Shrek climbs up the chain still slung around Dragon's neck. Donkeys don't have layers. The dragon begins to swing its tail back and forth with Shrek still holding on, then launces him into the air. DONKEY: Shrek, what are you doing? Suddenly the magic of the spell pulls Fiona away. Come on! Donkey looks at Shrek with a new eye. Shrek sighs. Don't look down. Shrek and Fiona kiss. His back is to a Princess Fiona, laying upright on the bed near the window. The Dragon's Keep towered before them, a dilapidated castle, burned and blackened. FARQUAAD: Kill him if you have to--but get him! SHREK: Okay, fine. Listen to me! (Donkey hops up onto a chair.) What's he like? The three continue their journey back to Duloc though the woods. Parfaits. FIONA: Lord Farquaad, I accept. Shrek burns his foot trying to stomp out the campfire, so Donkey pees on the fire to put it out. I'm making a mess. Fiona screams in terror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. DONKEY: Shrek, we can do better than that. the entire bee movie script. FIONA: Excuse me. DONKEY: Princess? You ate the princess. Fiona looks at him blankly, confused but not frightened. What you got against the whole world anyway, huh? Donkey looks scared of Shrek for a moment, but he quickly hides behind him after seeing that the guards have caught up to him. In three Halloween tales, Shrek and his friends tell scary stories, Ginormica and the Monsters fight mutant alien pumpkins, and Shrek battles a ghost. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? It wasn't no brimstone. Bouncy gameshow music begins to play. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Come on, baby. This one's full. The whole congregation gasps as they see Shrek walk ahead towards the altar. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place. You're my rescuer. Farquaad holds Fiona's hand, puckers his lips, and leans toward her. MIRROR: (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. As they continue to talk Fiona keeps grabbing after the arrow as Shrek dodges her attempts. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. (He gets bumped from behind and he drops the mice.) Donkey drops to the floor to avoid another fireball, which manages to singe the tuft of his tail. Keep on moving. SHREK: You know, I think I preferred your humming. 1 at the domestic box office, it went on to earn nearly $ 500 million worldwide on a production budget of $60 million. DONKEY: Stairs? Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him and glares down at Donkey. She smiles and then continues walking, singing softly. Oh. She straightens her dress, lays back down, and then quickly reaches over for bouquet of flowers off the side table. Shrek! Fiona looks at him in shock, tears welling in her eyes. A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" DONKEY: Aww, that's beautiful. FIONA: Shrek! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. SHREK: Come on, Donkey. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Post author By ; Post date how to find total revenue on a graph; neighbourhood liverpool dress code . Shrek looks back at the laughing crowd and then down at the floor, dejected. FARQUAAD: Very well, ogre. Farquaad looks down and pulls the sheet up to cover himself as the covers rise. Princess, where are you? Farquaad drops his weapon and looks up. Shrek snatches the deed out of the hands of a guard and walks away. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide, he groans and stumbles off. Shrek glances over to see if Donkey understands him, but is met with a blank look. MONSIEUR HOOD: I steal from the rich and give to the needy. THE CAPTAIN: That's it. He sees that a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp. When does this guy say the line? Shrek arrives back home. OLD WOMAN: Oh, go ahead, little fella. You're all right. Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. It's just a donkey. . You can't breathe a word. That's my tail! I'll stick with you. She's a loaded pistol who likes pia coladas and getting caught in the rain. DONKEY: Shrek there's something about her you don't know. She puts her hand on his arm, but he nudges it away and walks past her. SHREK: Because--because he's just marrying you so he can be king! Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? A hideous creature! (steps onto solid ground) Oh! FIONA: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. Shrek laughs as the men drop their torches and pitchforks and run away as fast they can. FIONA: Well then why didn't he come rescue me? No one likes a kiss ass. The old woman steps up to the table. 75 - "INTRO TO BARRY" INT. Gender-Swapping. What are youno! He hands it back to an appalled Fiona, but before she can react, they are startled by the dragon's roar and she drops it to the floor. Fiona stands with her arm on Shrek's, but Donkey butts in-between them. This is all wrong. SHREK: No. I'm the gingerbread man! DONKEY: You know, I do too. I know! Give me another chance! Do you know what that thing can do to you? SHREK: Oh, I understand. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. I'm so sorry. Shrek grins and gets up while Donkey is still crossing, launching him back to the other side. FIONA: But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. The arrow flies past her and towards Donkey, who jumps into Shrek's arms to get out of the way. Fairy tale creatures." [Sighs] Guard 1: All right. LITTLE BEAR: (crying) This cage is too small. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. FIONA: A little unorthodox I'll admit. Shrek walks over to the edge of the cliff and sits down. She's lifted up into the air and she hovers while the magic works around her. Oh, no. The pair walk off into the night with Shrek's torch lighting the way. Dragon purses her lips and gets ready to kiss Donkey. He's the one who wants to marry you. All is quiet and Fiona is nowhere to be seen. SHREK: All right, get out of here. I tell him, I tell him not Fiona picks the last petal off the sunflower, smiling. DONKEY: (as he's done singing and we fade to black) Oh, that's funny. MIRROR: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes another fireball. The audience goes wild. You're-- You're--. Fiona makes eye contact with Shrek before he turns away. Panic-stricken, Fiona looks back fearfully at the setting sun. DONKEY: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! SHREK: (laughs) I just--you know - - Oh, come on. Fiona grabs Donkey's head and pulls it down to her. Stop it, both of you. the lovers elliot oracle; sad drawings easy step by step I'm a terrifying ogre! I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. He sees several shadows moving and looks around. DONKEY: You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? (Shushes Donkey). I don't give permission to-- hey! I can't breathe. I'm notnot emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh - - "magnitude" really is the word I'm looking for. DONKEY: Oh, wow! I'm not through with you yet. I warn ya! Where did that come from? Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. I give you our champion! Fiona gives Shrek a suspicious look. I -- I've been this way as long as I can remember. Shrek chuckles, revealing himself to be standing behind the mob. SHREK: They'll shave your liver. Dragon lets out a defeated cry, then gives a sad whimper. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. He stands up with a huff. Scared Shrekless. I'm the talking-est damn thing you ever saw. Not there! Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. GUARDS: Two! Hood brings Fiona's hand to his chest, and then carpets Fiona's arms with kisses as she pulls back in disgust. (throws one leg at Gingy) You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world (crumbles his other leg into dust). Donkey catches up to them. As they walk away from the crowd Shrek grabs the torch from a dwarf cheering them on, who refuses to let go. SHREK: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. Shrek points to her last piece of food. Do you want to sit down? DONKEY: This is gonna be fun! Montage of different scenes. Ha, ha! Who's hiding them? DONKEY: Ha-ha-ha! 20% Off with code OUTDOORSALE Shrek angrily fights back and knocks out a few of the guards, but they are able to subdue him through sheer numbers. Deeper in the woods, Donkey is hurriedly searching for the flower. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? SHREK: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. Thank you! Shrek takes her by the shoulders and forcefully shakes her. I heard the two of you talking. DONKEY: You can't do this to me, Shrek. Two! I really don't think this is a good idea. FIONA: Oh, no. He starts shaking it to try and relapse it from the pulley. FIONA: "By night one way, by day another. Uh, remember when you said that ogres have layers? SHREK: (Yelling) No! Geppetto takes the money and walks off. But I'll let you do themeasuringwhen you see him tomorrow. No! I can change. Lord Farquaad? Guards! FIONA: Well, can I at least know the name of my champion? There is no such thing as a "Shrek script google doc." Shrek is a 2001 American computer-animated fantasy film loosely based on the 1990 fairy tale picture book of the same name by William Steig. Fiona pulls her arm from Shrek's grip. Shrek marches over to the bedroom and throws back the curtain. Shrek picks up the last knight, spinning him over his head and then throwing him against the post of the wrestling ring. You think --who, whoa, wait a sec. What is that? Shrek's ugly 24/7. DONKEY: (Nervously to himself) Okay, don't look down. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. He huffed and he puffed and hesigned an eviction notice. Take it and go before I change my mind. The sooner we get to Duloc the better. SEQ. Shrek and Fiona are now joined in matrimony in Shrek's swamp. FIONA: And what do you know about true love?! DONKEY: I'm gonna die. Hidden in the shadows of the cave, Fiona's eyes were sympathetic. Bye-bye. Shrek pauses to look around and heads for a set of wooden doors. DONKEY: Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. It didn't come off no stone neither. Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until -- Hey, no, wait. They hang onto the bridge as they are swung to the other side. Dragon lifts Donkey up with her hand. DONKEY: Yes. FARQUAAD: I'm not the monster here, you are. Her look turns from nervousness to bemusement, and she awkwardly smiles. All I have to do is just find someone who can go MIRROR: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. My swamp! Shrek and Fiona cross the bridge connecting the tallest tower to the rest of the castle. They arrive at the outskirts of a giant volcano and begin to make their way up. Behind her Donkey tumbles his way down the hill. You are what you eat, I said. - akahunahi Oct 10, 2018 at 4:41 2 Oh, pick me! You can't catch me. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Blue flower, red thorns. Shrek lightly tugs at the arrow but stops, wincing in pain. GINGERBREAD MAN: Well, she's married to the muffin man. Donkey is talking to himself in his sleep. DONKEY: I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. FIONA: I'm sorry, but it has to come out. Ogres are not like cakes. I helped rescue the princess. See?! SHREK: Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. A little later, Fiona is now frying the eggs over the campfire using a rock skillet. This doesn't seem to deter his interest. SHREK: No! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." He rolls over, knocking Fiona off her feet and causing her to land on top of him. SHREK: You're crazy. Shrek turns to leave and Fiona quickly sits upright. Donkey, with the flower dropped at his feet, gives them a suggestive look. He rushes down the tower's staircase with Fiona in tow and grabs a torch. You got something in your eye? The trees and grass are neatly cut and the rows of houses all looked exactly the same. Couldn't have been the donkey. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. SHREK: Listen, little donkey. SHREK: (to Donkey) That wasn't in the job description. Once again everyone else claps. The group comes to a river with no path across, though it is clearly shallow enough to walk over. Hours have passed and Fiona has calmed down. Layers! SHREK: Hi, everyone. Two! The first to climb out, Fiona gracefully slides down to the bottom of the volcano hill. Take it away! Your future awaits you. Blue flower, red thorns Donkey marches off, still chanting, until he is out of earshot. Shrek and Fiona give each happy looks, having made up an excuse to stall for time. FARQUAAD: Oh, that is so sweet. He does. The dragon is just about to eat Donkey when Shrek grabs ahold of its tail. They are both startled by Donkey's interruption. I'm the stair master. 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